Save Me From Myself

Sometimes. No, most all of the time I feel like the black sheep of everyone. I don't belong anywhere. I feel as if wherever I'm anywhere I'm just there. No important. No significance. I feel like no one wants me near them and when they do want me its just so they can take advantage of me. Its not fair. I'm a nuisance of society. I'm a faux pas.I'm the misfit of the misfits. I just want to belong. I don't want to be alone. I feel like I'm a terrible person that people put up with for no reason. I feel like if I died people would celebrate. I want to mean something to somebody. I don't want to be annoying. I don't want to do excess things. Its just every little thing I do is annoying. Every step. Every breath. Every swallow. Every blink. It seems as if every time I'm in need, NO ONE not a single soul is there for me. But as soon as someone else needs help I'm there. I don't know how to say no. I need someone to save me from myself. Before something else does.

Again Again.

Urghh. The girl. She probably thinks I'm an immature boy. Nooo. That''s what I didn't want her to think. But she probably does. I don't understand girls. One day they flirt with you and act like they like you and the next they act like you're a stranger. Then maybe... Just maybe I'm assuming. Or imagining this all in my head. I could be crazy you know? I mean I do get attached like that*snap*. It happened last year and oh my it was terrible. I was attached all the way through summer. I don't want to happen again unless its an actual relationship. Like a REALationship. but I don't know. She could like me or not. If she doesn't that would suck. If she does that would be AH-MAZING. Ergh. Girls will be the death of me

There's this girl

Soooo. There's this one girl. And she's just so wonderful! =D Every time I see her I get all these silly feelings but the feelings they're so s- SO wonderful! Like indulging in your most favorite desert or taking a nice cold shower on a boiling hot summer day. But I get mixed signals from her. Some days I think she likes me back. Other days I feel as if she thinks of me as nothing more than a friend! OH OH OH and there's this one obstacle. This boy in our bio class. He's always flirting with her and every other girl in the ENTIRE and I mean ENTIRE school. What if she likes him? I mean she knows he's a player right? Everyone does. Why can't he just leave her alone? Grrrrr. omfg. What if she thinks I'm just a joke. -sigh- I really do like her though. I like her giggle. That's the cutest thing of all. I like the way she flips her hair, how she's soooo so smart, she's extremely goofy. We're like a match made in heaven. oohh. but I don't know what to do. I think I made it clear to her that I like her. She probably thinks I was joking. but I was serious! No one takes me seriously! 

First Post!

Hi there! This is so exciting. My first post. Haha. I'm so used to using tumblr. but I don't feel like that's a website for "Blogging". I hope I mature throughout this.